i feel so naughty, i’m sneaking out a bottle of wine to take over to my friend’s house adfgadlfgadfg

but like i’m scared my parents will notice because we literally have 3 bottles of wine in my house

amexicanwithamustache:

motherstrickle:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

do catholics fail trigonometry because they’re afraid of sin

do irish people fail trigonometry because they can’t tan

does everyone else fail trigonometry just cos

It’s like my mum always said, the soufflé isn’t the soufflé — the soufflé is the recipe.

crazyboutthemwranglerjeans:

“Can I ask you something?”

The single scariest phrase in the english language, guaranteed to make your heart drop

nigerian:

[singing in shower] [simon cowell appears] “its a no from me”